Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
