there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
