I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
