Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
