forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
