Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
