Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
