It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
