She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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