Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
