There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
