So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
