YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I want is dick and wine.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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