If that was your dad, he is hot
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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