he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize