ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
