That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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