It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
