ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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