I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
