Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
