i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize