This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
