Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
