What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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