Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish I only lived at night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
