It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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