this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
