cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i think i just lost a toe
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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