just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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