My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So apparently I’m into choking now
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