wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
