So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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