I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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