I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
