then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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