I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
