nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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