I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize