ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
