It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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