found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
