Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
