I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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