We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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