I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
