THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
