I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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