Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
