school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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