She is in my trunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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