: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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