i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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