EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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