VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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