You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
