absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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