hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
