just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
