Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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