Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
