Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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