Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
