why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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