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• (480): View more from Arizona

  turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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• (310): View more from California

  You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.

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• (530): View more from California

  Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  You've changed since you got that strap on

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• (310): View more from California

  I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.

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