oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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