dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
