like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
