No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
