Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
