I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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